


The Winter

by lovelyseungyoun



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, congrats Wooseok on your debut!, just random thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24381904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyseungyoun/pseuds/lovelyseungyoun
Summary: and i remember the warm winter with you
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	The Winter

Wooseok sighed for the umpteenth time, staring at the wall in silence. There’s always been a sense of comfort in knowing what one’s future is going to be like. Join Produce X 101, debut in the new group for 5 years if he makes it, go back to his old group if he didn’t, and that’s that. What Wooseok didn’t account for was debuting in the new group, achieving record-breaking success, and having it all ripped away in less than 5 months. He knew it was going to end eventually; he just never expected it to be in such an abrupt and cruel way. Now, with barely any time to prepare and gather his thoughts, he had to prepare for a solo debut. It all happened so fast and he didn’t know if he had the time to feel anything. He couldn’t feel the happiness of the success, nor the anxiety in the hiatus period, nor the sadness of the disbandment, and now that he’s debuting again he doesn’t even know if he’s allowed to feel anything anymore. What if this was ripped away from him too? What if he isn’t as successful as he was in X1? What did he truly want in life?

So many questions plagued his thoughts, and he tried his best to express his mixed emotions in the songwriting process for his new album. It was Wooseok’s first time composing and writing lyrics, and he wanted to show who he was through his art. However, he finds it extremely difficult to capture what he’s feeling when he didn’t even get a chance to feel it himself. 

Sometimes, he wishes he could go back and live in the memories. Of that time where they were once so successful and had a bright and promising future ahead. Other times, he wishes he could erase those memories and forget them. It was better to forget having had success at all than to have it and lose it over something out of his own control. However, when he does have those thoughts, he remembers the warm winter with his members and fans. A time where he was truly happy, had achieved his dreams, and no matter how short-lived it was he refused to forget one of the best times of his life.

When he feels the coldness creeping in, he thinks back to that special time and feels warmth. He won’t let go of these memories because he wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. If he could go back in time, knowing what would happen to him and his group, he would still join Produce and do it all again. The only thing he would change was how appreciative he was. He would experience that beautiful time with an open mind and heart, so that he could look back at the special memories when he feels lost. 

Wooseok knew he didn’t have to have the answer to everything right away. After all, no human being ever truly knows who they are and what they want. Life is about exploring, learning, and changing with experiences. As he grows older, his experiences will be different and so will his wants and needs. What he wants right now may not be what he wants in 5 years or 10 years. What Wooseok does know, however, is that right now his dream is to connect with his fans. He would like to share his passion with them. If his music could change even one person’s life positively, then he would be content. His first love and happiness was always his music, and in the end he is merely an artist sharing his art with the world and being grateful to whoever listens and is moved by the message he’s conveying. 

Wooseok looked away from the wall and stared straight into the mirror. Here he was, ready for his solo debut showcase. Even though he never expected to be here, he will work hard and show his best performance. He doesn’t have to have everything figured out. His mixed emotions are part of the message he’s trying to send, and he knows the fans will understand. Everything will be okay. If he ever felt lost and upset, Wooseok knew he always had those beautiful memories in the winter to look back on.

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! i wrote one fic and dipped bc the disbandment really messed me up but i'm back and i wanted to work on my writing again! i didn't do seungseok this time bc i wanted to focus on my characterization of individuals before relationships so i hope this is good! thank you for reading <3


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